When people speak of enlightenment...
It sounds so serious, so ominous; enlightenment. I used to think that enlightenment was a state of existance reserved only for the likes of monks, yogis, Buddha, or Jesus. I believed becoming enlightened was highly complicated and that you could only 'get there', by giving up everything. I assumed that to live an enlightened life (which I mainly thought meant you are freed from desire), you had to meditate eight hours a day, eat nothing but bland rice, ideally have taken a vow of silence that lasted at least a year, cut out all things fun, and live an isolated life of extreme discipline. I thought being enlightened meant that there was something that needed to be added to who I was.
Everything changed when I started a three months long Reiki treatment that removed a variety of heavy energies from me, allowing a sliver of light to break through. What I discovered over the course of that treatment and the months that followed changed my life for good. I discovered that, when I remove the darkness, underneath it, my natural state of being is one of predominant joy and bliss (spoiler: and so is yours). With every trauma healing session I did, with every previously ignored part I embraced, with every act of healing, I chipped off another layer of darkness that was covering my light. Over the course of a year, I became illumiated again, from the inside out. I learned that there was nothing to add to who I was.
Throughout this beautiful and sometimes heart-wrenching process, I discovered profound gratitude and acceptance for all of life. I was back to my old levels of energy, I stopped my medication from one day to the next and my anxiety never came back. I started being able to connect deeply with others and I found myself calm and grateful in situations that previously would have caused me lasting pain. I learned to discern what was really mine and what was not and I learned to truly let go and forgive. With my my "re-lighting" (my preferred term) came an incredible taste for life. I found purpose, connection and peace, as well as a true passion for healing. And most importantly; I discovered what it feels like to truly love myself.
To reconnect to your light, you must first illuminate the shadow
Shadow work is the overarching term for any work that makes our unconscious pain and fears conscious (it increases our awareness for our unconscious patterns), so that we can look at and heal them, since you cannot heal what you cannot or do not want to see. The quote: "the only way out is through" is the perfect summary for shadow work. During shadow work, the client is the main driver and in full awareness of what traumas are being healed.
An alternative to shadow work is shamanic healing, another healing approach I deeply resonate with. Shamanic healing practices can accomplish the same lasting changes as shadow work, however, the client does not need to be fully aware of what traumas are being healed. Both shadow work as well as shamanic healing remove darkness through the process of soul retrieval. If you are interested to dive deeper (and more metaphysically) into how trauma causes darkness, and how it can be healed through soul retrieval (WHICH I HIGHLY RECOMMEND), scroll down to the section titled soul retrieval.
Disclaimer: I do not call myself a shaman as I believe that term is reserved for specific people with specific backgrounds and initiations. However, I absolutely do work with shamanic healing methods, sometimes predominantly, depending on how much clearing (removing darkness) is neccessary. The more clearing I do, the more shamanic my sessions will look and feel. Other than shamanic healing methods, my main energy healing modalities are Usui and Karuna Ki Reiki, as well as Christ Consciousness or direct Source energy. Guided by an intuitive flow, I alternate between these modalities. If you work with me, you wil most likely experience all modalities at some point during your container stay.
I leared that, to become an enlightened being, we need not do things like meditate 8 hours/day or refrain from all things fun. It also does not bring you to a place of no desire for desire is what makes the world go round. If we did not have desire, no action would be taken. We would be stagnant and no expansion would ever take place; a non-starter since the entire purpose of this universe is expansion. Expansion through variety of experience as well as desire.
To become enlightened, all we have to do is remove darkness by looking at the shadow (what is unconscious), for the light has always been inside of us and there is nothing to add. I know that to so many of us, this seems hard to believe. But if you can, trust that I know of your magnificence. And if you are willing, I will help you experience it for yourself.
In summary, my philosophy is:
You are a being of love and light. This light is God* inside of you. Painful things that you experienced, unconsciously caused you to dim that light, always to protect yourself. Now, you don't need these protection mechanisms anymore and they have become the source of your pain or are holding you back from achieving what you desire. I will help you peel back the layers of darkness (in whatever way you can), so that you reconnect with your light. This will bring you back to who you truly are and it will change your life, like it changed mine. In the beginning, we were all one and in the end, we all return to oneness. I see you and I love you.
*Not the God created by religions. That God is a mess and I want nothing to do with it. I mean real God. The Source of all. The Source of your light. This light, btw, is what Genesis refers to when it reads; "God created man in his own image".
Enlightenment is an inside job. You will never see a bright light shine down from the sky to illuminate you into your ascension. Instead, that light will come from the inside, from your heart space, the place where your soul resides in your physical body.
SOUL RETRIEVAL -A DETAILED LOOK AT HOW TRAUMA CAUSES US TO LOSE OURSELVES...
Before our body organizes into physical atoms, cells, tissue, muscle and bone, it organizes into the energy body, into chakras, and energy lines (meridians). Ancient healing methods such as acupuncture, as well as healing modalities like Reiki, work with the energy body, which has seven main layers. These layers store our memories as well as our thoughts and emotions. Just like how the energetic body forms first, so does all dis-ease first form in the energy body before we experience them physically. Knee pain, for example, begins with a blockage in the hip, knee, ankle, or foot chakra, disturbing healthy energy flow, resulting in physical discomfort or pain. When we experience a trauma*, the traumatic experience also gets 'stored' in our energy body.
*Trauma is defined as ANY experience that provoked negative emotions that did not get processed (felt, understood, and accepted) by the person experiencing them. Please note that our ego likes to weigh and compare traumas. While it is true that heavy trauma causes more fragmentation, all trauma can cause extreme pain throughout a person's life. No trauma is trivial, ever. Below is an example of a shockingly common trauma and consequent formation of a negative core belief. If you feel that this story is trivial, my heart goes out to you. Please know that the highlighting of this sort of trauma does not minimize yours.
Based on billions of true stories - understanding trauma
Anne is 5 years old and playing with her friend Susie on the playground. Suddenly, Susie disappears. Anne is looking everywhere for her. After a while, she finds her sitting with a girl Anne does not know. They are whispering and hiding something. Anne wants to see what it is but Susie tells her to go away and even shoves her. Anne is totally confused, feels left out, rejected, hurt, angry, and sad. These are a lot of emotions for a five year old so Anne starts to cry and runs to her mother, who is sitting with Susie's mom on a bench nearby. "What's wrong" Anne's mother asks. Anne explains what happened and her mother (who is not conscious and suffers from her own trauma of codependency and people pleasing, therefore feeling triggered by Anne's reaction as she has repressed this part herself) says "that's no big deal, just play with Luna until they are done". Or she might say something like "well sometimes we need to give people some space and you should do that". Maybe, Susie's mom (who is also unconscious and thinks that her daughter's behavior is a reflection on her) says something like "I'm sure Susie didn't mean it that way".
At five years old, Anne cannot regulate such big emotions on her own and instead of having her mother help her do so by saying something like "that sounds so upsetting! I understand why you feel sad, confused, angry...", Anne is left, sitting with her overwhelming feelings, alone. Not only was her pain not seen by the main person who should always be on her side, but she was also gaslit (made to feel that her perception was wrong and that her feelings are not valid) by her mother as well as another adult, because their own traumas caused them to deny the reality of the situation. This is the moment Anne fragments and literally loses a part of her (energetic/soul) self.
How trauma happens
In these few minutes, Anne learned that she cannot not be upset if she is rejected or left out. Should Anne ever be upset again in a similar situation, even if she is 35 years old, Anne will experience severe anxiety stemming from the memory of rejection by her mother, which is still stored as "if I feel this I will fall out of favor with my protector and provider", so she will avoid it at all costs, further and further pushing this part of her away. Anne also unconsciously learned that her own needs do not matter as much as the needs of others (thereby perpetuating the people pleaser trauma within the familiy line). Anne also learned that her mother does not have her back, since her mother often repeats this pattern and places the needs of others over the needs of her daughter. Since Anne is just a little child, Anne does not question her mother but instead blames herself. Anne learns that, if her mom won't take her side, she must not like/love her. And if even her mom does not like/love her, no one will. Anne develops the negative core belief 'I am unlikable/unlovable'.
The process of disowning
Anne just lived through the very painful experience of peer rejection. As social animals, humans rely on being part of a tribe. Even though we have now chosen to live in our individual "caves" with big walls keeping others out, our evolutionary past and therefore genetics still count on us being social creatures who function in groups. Getting rejected from the social group used to mean exile or, at the very least, social death. Modern sciene has found out what our ancestors knew intuitively; lonliness and social isolation is a worse killer than tabacco. This deep fear of social rejection was triggered when Anne was left out by her friend.
However, had Anne's mother reacted differently, Anne may have come out of this situation not just untraumatized but maybe even stronger, as this could have been a great opportunity to teach self- love, self-worth, and boundaries. Instead, Anne's mom unconsciously allowed a severe trauma to form (because the feelings of rejection did not get processed) while creating an even worse trauma (having mom take someone else's side is worse than rejection by tribe) on top. Anne's mom, in this moment, chose Susie's need above Anne's.
Anne, of course, registers immediately that her mother is not taking her side and now finds herself facing a terrible choice; to continue feeling her authentic feelings (and alienating her mother/threatening her own survival) or to disown her feelings (and therefore the part of her that created them). And because any five year old will chose survival, Anne fragments. Anne disowns the part of herself that is upset at what happened, to remain in her mother's favor. This disowned soul aspect then leaves Anne's aura, creating an empty space. This is the process of soul fragmentation through trauma.
Entity attachment
Anne needs to heal her initial trauma because, by the time Anne is a teenager, a foreign energy will have filled the hole the disowned soul fragment left behind. This energy is of low vibration, either a foreign soul fragment or a harmful entity, and feels like a virus to her energy body and her soul. Anne now has what healers and shamans call an entity attachment. This attachment controls Anne's thoughts and behaviors if Anne is unaware of its presence. Entity attachments cause people to fall into addiction, anxiety or depression, cause them to self- isolate, make them detached or selfish, hateful or violent, or anything else that will draw them away from their true essence, which is the vibration of love. In Anne's case, the disowned soul fragment left a hole in her solar plexus chakra and was filled by an entity that is causing Anne to suffer from crippling self- doubt and low self-esteem.
Why does this keep happening to me?
Now, going forward, Anne's trauma (and the resulting negative core belief) will replay over and over because her soul is sending her continuous opportunities to heal the trauma, so that her disowned soul fragment can return, which will result in the removal of the foreign energy that has settled into Anne's aura. The idea is that if Anne keeps suffering from the same traumas and experiences, she will become conscious of these patterns and 'do something' (see next section) about it. If Anne, however, does not become conscious of this shadow and does not understand the point of these repeated negative experiences, Anne will go on to attract romantic partners who never value her needs and attract friends who reject her regularly, for the rest of her life.
Why healing is everythig
To permanently remove this attachment, Anne must heal the original wound (trauma) that was created when she realized she cannot feel upset when someone mistreats her, because it will lead to her being rejected by mom/threatening her survival. This (and many other) fears are very real and the reason why people have resistance to healing. Because to heal it, Anne has to feel it, again. Anne also has to accept (and ideally, with time, forgive) that her mother (who was also traumatized!) cared more about the needs of others than the needs of her own child, which is unbelievably painful. This, however, is the only way for Anne to let go of her negative core belief 'I am unlikeable/unlovable', which she is absolutely not. Anne can only see this when she realizes that she adopted this belief because as a little child, she assumed her mother to be right. Once Anne heals, her soul fragment returns, and her negative core belief is replaced, Anne's entire life will change! Because the wounds are healed, Anne stops re-living the same experiences over and over, as there is no more need for them. By returning her soul fragment, Anne pushes out the entity attachment, increasing the overall vibration of her energy body, bringing her closer to her true nature; unconditional love. Now, Anne's solar plexus chakra can spin freely again, leading to her developing higher self-esteem and a healthy self-image. She will attract partners who care about her needs as much as their own and she will finally attract friends who do not reject her.
When people heal, they clean their aura/ energy bodies of all that is not them. When people heal, they kick out negative core beliefs, entities, and any other dirt that is keeping their light locked inside. When people heal, they shed all that is blocking their true essence from emerging.
When we heal, we find our way back home (to our true selves).
"Nothing that grieves us can be called little: by the eternal laws of proportion, a child's loss of a doll and a king's loss of a crown are events of the same size.
-Mark Twain
Here is a wonderful video of my beloved Eckart Tolle, explaning the same concept in different words. Basically, during my sessions, we will clear varying levels* of your pain body through my multi-modality approaches and shadow work (because different people require different healing approaches).
*Healing happens in steps because the pain body is build in layers. This means that you heal layer after layer which is why sometimes, you come across a trauma repeatedly, each time going deeper and deeper until you clear the root. Sometimes, traumas are ready to be fully cleared immediately, often, they are not. It all depends on your levels of readiness. No matter where you are on your journey, I want you to know that all healing work is excellent healing work and all individual healing is collective healing. So thank you for taking this journey!
